My name is Abby and I am a first generation poet residing in British Columbia, Canada. I began writing to help myself understand this world and the many ways I fit into it. In my poetry you will find themes of motherhood, the cycles of birth and death, wonder for the places we call home and what it feels like to be a woman in search of deep meaning and beauty in life. I try to find magic in the mundane and everyday moments that I mostly take for granted. I write to slow down, immortalize the moment and become more present. It is my dream that in publishing, my work will find the people who have had these same experiences and feelings, but have yet to put a name or words to it. Being human is a tricky business. I hope my words can make even one person feel seen and understand the universal truth, that we are never truly alone. Thank you for being here, I hope you enjoy my work.
We are all on our own journey of walking home to ourselves, a long and sometimes painful process of undoing the damage wrought on our psyches by collective systems and ideals. Most women go through a process of abandoning ourselves in our adolescence and a great remembering as we gain wisdom and come to a place of knowing and loving ourselves as we really are. Rediscovering what brings us joy, reclaiming our sexuality, burning off shame and guilt, turning our eyes toward beauty. It is a path we can always choose, no matter our age or lived experience.
Gratitude is the key
to unlocking all of the imaginary doors
I have built around myself
I thought I was locking the bad
out
but I realized in doing so
I was also locking the good
in
A door is a door
no matter which way it swings
it creates the idea of separation
the ability to separate
Gratitude
causes remembrance that we are all
just three screws and a hinge
from total freedom
Imagine only knowing flowers
as wild
Wandering through meadows
making crowns from vines
tiny starry explosions
nestled into the delicate bells
wrapped in reaching curls
One day a person you love
comes to the meadow
tells you how wonderful it is
that you love flowers so much
let’s show you how to grow them
Forevermore
you plant and seed according to colour
variety and specific needs
like a surgeon
excising anything that is not useful
meticulously implementing order and functionality
your garden is beautiful
in all of its colour coordinated
height adjusted
mutually beneficial rows
I wonder how long it will take
for you to remember
and return your glorious garden
to the meadow
it was always meant to be
Did you know magic is real?
I didn’t
I thought it was like the movies
but I am a trained scientist
the two have trouble
getting along
Then all the structured walls
came crashing down around me
like never knowing water
and being cast into the sea
in all of the chaos
a glimmer appeared
I did not know what it was
but I knew that I knew
what it was
the old one inside of me
cracked open an eyelid
and was flooded with relief
Some live and die
having never seen that glimmer
or ignoring it if they do
But my white-knuckled hands latched onto it
like it was a life raft
which it indeed was
that glimmer of light and dark
life force
spark of creation
I am in no hurry
the hustle has stopped
withered and died like the leaves of a deciduous tree
My motivation no longer comes from an external driver
a narrative of comparison and expiration dates
My motivation is my holy desire
My soul in the driver’s seat with my heart riding shotgun
Thelma and Louise style
holding hands as they drive off the cliff of the matrix
into the eternal astral plane
There is no one left to tell me what to do
I will kill the curse to find the blessing
I get to choose, create, dictate and dream
How do you move in the world
when you are certain the world is here for you to enjoy?
To dive into, tear open
finding yourself within the skin of all beings
Joy
Joy
Joy
Here it is
I am finally free
ring the bells
gather the water
for the ties that bind have been broken
and my wrists bleed a million colours onto the page
My legs twitch at the potential
as it gathers like a gentle wave
pulling me to sea
where there are no roofs, walls or watches
ticking and boxing life away